Lost... one brother.... but was he ever really found???

It seems sad to make my first ever blog post a depressing one, but it is what has to be.... My stepbrother, Shawn Martin Holdaway, was found dead at his residence in Florida this past Wednesday night... he was only 34 years old... I had the longest conversation I had ever had with him back in October when I was visiting my Dad... he and I never had a lot of contact/interaction... I found out from my stepsister a while back that he thought I thought I was better than him... he saw me as a "goody two shoes"... he obviously didn't know the REAL me... I think he would have liked the "real" me.... Shawn lead what I would consider to be a "troubled" life... I'm not sure he ever really knew what he wanted from life or for his future... but I do know that he was the happiest I had ever known him to be when I spoke to him that night.... he was so proud to tell me about his job... and that he was living right on the ocean... that he could walk out his door and be at the water's edge in just a moment's time... and he told me about watching the boat races... we talked for almost an hour... I call him my stepbrother, but I'm not sure if he ever really was... ya know??? I'm not sure what I'm supposed to think right now... all I know is that I hope he has found peace... and that he's still able to walk along the water's edge... I think it might have been his personal Heaven... I will most assuredly miss the brother I never really knew... Rest In Peace... You are Loved...